Flush Your Concerns
As a young head coach at Northwest University in 2001 with major resource challenges there were times when I got very frustrated. At times, the more I focused on what we didn’t have, the more frustrated I became, and the more time and energy I spent being frustrated. On one such occasion I was enthusiastically complaining to my Athletic Director. Bruce stood and listened to me patiently until I ran out of steam. Then he asked me to follow him. We walked down the hall and into the bathroom, where he ushered me into a stall. Then he told me to take all the things I had been complaining about and “throw” them all in the toilet. I looked at him like he was crazy. He told me again, to actually “throw” them in the toilet. So I “threw” it all in and flushed the toilet. He looked at me and asked “feel better?” I realized I kinda did feel better. More importantly I understood the lesson. Dr. Stephen Covey calls it your Circle of Control vs. your Circle of Concern. In a nutshell, it means differentiating and focusing on the things you have power over, and not wasting time and energy on the things you have no control over. As a head coach I could control my attitude and effort first of all. Those are possibly the most important things anyone can focus on. I could control the way my team trained, the preparation they had for competition, the race plan that was given and the way I interacted with them. What I couldn’t control was how much money my program received, whether those outside my program cared about my program, or anything we didn’t have. However, I could control my own ability to find creative solutions to some problems, which gave me positive control. How much energy, emotion, stress, frustration and time is wasted on the things we actually have no control over? We have plenty in front of us that we do have control over, so by focusing on our Circle of Concern, we take away time and energy from our Circle of Control. In other words, we undercut and sabotage ourselves. When we focus our energy on our Circle of Concern, we also play the role of victim, instead of hero. Our thinking moves to “the reason I’m not as successful is because of them, or what I don’t have.” It’s not our fault. We’ve been wronged. We’ve been held back. We’ve been given a raw deal. If it’s not our fault, then we don’t have to learn or solve our challenges. When our focus is on our Circle of Control we empower ourselves. We take responsibility for ourselves and are not much concerned with what others think or do. This aligns us with our purpose and goals. It also unlocks a level of creativity and problem solving that is key to being extraordinary. Interestingly, my entire coaching career and the success I had was because most of the time I focused most of my thought and energy on my Circle of Control. I found ways over, through and around the challenges facing me. It’s how I transformed two of the most challenged collegiate programs in the country. Yet, even with that mindset, frustrations mount. And from time to time I had to take those concerns into the bathroom stall, “throw” them in the toilet, and flush them away. I wrote this blog before the whole Corona Virus pandemic hit. However, with everyone working through the effects of Corona Virus, it seems to be a timely message. You don’t have control over the economy or the virus. You don’t have control over the politicians or other people. You DO have control over your attitude, creativity and hope for the future. Take all the things you don’t have any control over and flush them. Then focus your attention and energy on your attitude. Create plans and actions for the things you can do something about and know that this will pass and a great future is ahead. Download the "Flush Tool" and see what you can flush during this challenging time. Bill Taylor is a former NCAA I Director and Head Coach, with 30-years of incredibly successful athletic coaching experience. He has a passion for seeing people reach levels of performance and success they never dreamed of. He holds a Masters degree in Conflict Management. He now uses his experience building athletic champions to impact leaders and executives in all roles and organizations as an Executive and Leadership Coach for Limitless Capability. To explore Executive and Leadership Coaching options or to sign up for Limitless Capability blogs, tips, news and specials, click here: http://www.LimitlessCapability.com Download the below "Flush Tool" here Resources: Book: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Dr. Stephen Covey https://www.amazon.com/Habits-Highly-Effective-People-Powerful-ebook/dp/B07WF972WK/ref=sr_1_5?crid=2PDQKTB1UOG5V&keywords=7+habits+of+highly+effective+people&qid=1584990477&s=books&sprefix=7+HA%2Cstripbooks%2C277&sr=1-5 Card Deck: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Resource Card Deck https://www.amazon.com/Habits-Highly-Effective-People-Anniversary/dp/1642500267/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=2PDQKTB1UOG5V&keywords=7+habits+of+highly+effective+people&qid=1584990566&s=books&sprefix=7+HA%2Cstripbooks%2C277&sr=1-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExUFZRMlFUUUFDUldYJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNzI2MzYyMzlFRjZFRVdHNEsyUyZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwMzcxMjQwMzZXMjZaOTNBMjZQMiZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=
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AuthorBill Taylor, former NCAA I Director of Men’s and Women’s Cross Country and Track & Field, NAIA National Champion and National Coach of the year, MA in Conflict Management. ArchivesCategories |